There\u2019s a rum silence on the street tonight. The wind is constant. It doesn\u2019t brace your skin with a cold thump considering it\u2019s late April already. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have the usual suspects with me. A box of cigarettes, and a peculiar yellow lighter. I sat down on a ledge, after looking for a clean spot for a few seconds. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I write this, I notice that I don\u2019t often write in the present. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The off-white light and the calm waves hitting the shore soothe me down. I take one out, light it, the smoke fills my lungs up and I drift into a long thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s uncanny, really. I watch the waves glitter under the white moonlight. The moon hides behind a few clouds for a long time, even though the skies are mostly clear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every time I try to appreciate being present in the moment, there\u2019s always a shove in my soul. I imagine it as if the parts of my soul fight with each other for purpose. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mind you, there is no final choice, or even a choice maker present. But I\u2019m aware that the skirmish happens. Always.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tonight, it\u2019s about this cigarette. One voice tells me this cigarette is all there is\u2014 that this is peace, if I define my peace to this limitation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The other voice immediately shoves, why would there be such a small limitation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I overlook both voices and wonder, should this peace everyone is after be measured against every achievable checkpoint and the heavens attached to it\u2014 or the choir of the moments such as the glitter on these waves and the light of these lamps?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All in all, there\u2019s only one way to find out. You have to get yourself to the beach at night. Have the courage to draw the cigarette out and smoke it while you think of everything else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s the only way. To find out\u2014 whether it\u2019s the long drawn journey or the fleeting joys of everyday life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ll take both. Or neither.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014Bunny<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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