\u201cI wanna go home\u201d, she cried. \u201cHome\u201d, I thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I shouldered it all to come here, not for wealth or their pride, just to escape the ache in my heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I came here so that I can run away from that ominous feeling \u2014 Needing to fill that fucking hole in my heart. I came here to escape, from myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hate that I was emotional on that airport. Naturally, I didn\u2019t show it. I kept laughing, conceling my pain so that she doesn\u2019t suffer. She kept crying, hoping she would convey something novel to me with every teardrop. But I knew it all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He doesn\u2019t keep well nowadays. But I\u2019m a selfish man. I\u2019m his DNA of course. I keep my ego and needs above everything else, and it will be that for the rest of my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She gets tired easily, she tells me. I always distract her from her fatigue by talking to her about random things. I wish I could bring up conversations about plants with her, about flowers. About old songs she likes. About how much he loves me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wish I could hold her shoulders, sit her down like I always do\u2014 and explain to her that I can\u2019t live a monotonous life. I need to move, mentally, physically and emotionally in order to not kill myself. I need uncertainty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hate that I keep that need of mine, that sheer egotism of mine, above her pain\u2014 Above his needs. But it\u2019s important\u2014 and necessary, so I do it regardless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think of them sometimes when I\u2019m alone. I find myself swimming in an endless ocean of painful memories, but I won\u2019t help myself by reminiscing about those. I often drive myself away from the thoughts to end it all\u2014because I know she\u2019s thinking about me in that specific moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wish she could be here with me, so that I can wipe her countless tears and laugh at her because she also looks funny when she cries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I yearn for pain. In that pain, I ask myself the question\u2014 what am I supposed to do with my heart?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wish I left a piece of it back home. Home.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cI wanna go home\u201d, she cried. \u201cHome\u201d, I thought. I shouldered it all to come here, not for wealth or their pride, just to escape the ache in my heart. I came here so that I can run away from that ominous feeling \u2014 Needing to fill that fucking hole in my heart. I came […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-299","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bunny"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bunionsandfunions.world\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bunionsandfunions.world\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bunionsandfunions.world\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bunionsandfunions.world\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bunionsandfunions.world\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=299"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bunionsandfunions.world\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":300,"href":"https:\/\/bunionsandfunions.world\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299\/revisions\/300"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bunionsandfunions.world\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=299"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bunionsandfunions.world\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=299"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bunionsandfunions.world\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=299"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}